A Mind at War

If you've lost someone

Losing someone to suicide is a grief like no other. You are not alone in carrying it.

A different kind of grief

Bereavement by suicide carries its own weight. Alongside the loss, there can be unanswered questions, guilt, shame, anger, relief, exhaustion — sometimes all at once, sometimes in waves that come without warning. Whatever you are feeling, it is part of grief, and it is valid.

There is no right way to mourn, and no timeline you have to meet. Some days are survivable; some days are not. Please be gentle with yourself.

Things to know

  • You could not have known everything. Suicide is rarely a single cause — it is the convergence of many things, most of them hidden, many of them not yours to carry.
  • The "why" may never be fully answered. Learning to live with that absence is part of the grief, not a failure of it.
  • Other people will say the wrong thing. Even people who love you. Take what helps; let the rest go.
  • You may need professional support. Grief counselling, particularly with someone experienced in suicide loss, can be transformative.
  • Connecting with others who understand helps. Suicide-loss support groups offer something no one else can: people who have stood where you are standing.

Where to turn

  • Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide (SOBS) — UK peer-support charity for adults bereaved by suicide. uksobs.org
  • Cruse Bereavement Support — general bereavement support with suicide-specific resources. cruse.org.uk
  • The Compassionate Friends — for bereaved parents and siblings. tcf.org.uk
  • Help is at Hand — free, comprehensive booklet from Public Health England for those bereaved by suicide. Read here

If you would like to speak with us — to share your story, or to be pointed toward the right help — please get in touch.

“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.”

— Helen Keller

In crisis or need to talk? Samaritans 116 123 • Text SHOUT to 85258 • Emergency 999